Fatama's view

April 15, Prison children and bicycles

My father has purchased an expensive bicycle for my younger brother. It makes me think of the condition of Afghan children who are being raised in prisons, who cannot get such gifts from their fathers. They are innocent and harmless children who are victims and have to stay in prison for their safety. They dream of being able to go to school, of living freely and playing with their friends just like others. It is hard to imagine a baby or a child lives in an environment of fear, filth and neglect. This is something that they have been faced with. What I am concerned is about the situation of prison children who have never had social, financial, and intellectual rights in society.

April 14 Internet addiction

My 13-year-old sister Lieda is absorbed by internet and she chats with her friends on Facebook. As soon as she gets up in the morning she turn on her laptop and puts everything aside to see if her friends are online. I remember when I was her age; there wasn't any communication between people [like this]. Afghan children are now overtaken by the marvels of modern technology. They understand how to use new programs and how to change the settings, but older people dare not change the settings, as they are not as familiar with technology.

Technology has become a big part of Afghan youth's lives. I believe that modern technology has a significant role in the development of a country as it makes children active, creative and deep thinkers. I wish that today's Afghan generation will change the future of my country with the access they have to technology and the way they are connected to the rest of the world.

April 9 - Powerful music

Last night, I sang a song to myself about Afghan girls. The singer is Aryana Sayed. I love this song as it's intended to raise awareness about the terrible abuses faced by many women. The song delivers the important message that women should not be killed because of 'wrong' values and old traditions.

I remember that listening to music was banned during the Taliban regime. The extremists also burned all cassettes and radios. Nowadays, however, there are many female singers who sometimes make music advocating women rights. I think music is one of the best ways to fight discrimination against Afghan women.

April 8 - Afghan teachers

Yesterday, I gave a presentation at university. The professor is not a professional language teacher and the quality of his classes is not satisfactory, so he gives marks based on what a student can memorize.

As we don't have a projector in our class, I had to print out the slides. The professor expected me to memorize too many pages - which I couldn’t - so he failed me and the boys in my class laughed at me.

I was embarrassed. I think it is a big challenge for university students to rely on grades given by unprofessional instructors who are not creative. In my opinion, modern technology allows us to think critically.

I sometimes feel that the education system at Balkh University is improving, but the shortage of professional teachers and teaching material has had a negative impact. I often see university students being confronted with problems such as the lack of Internet access.

I really hope the next Afghan government will pay more attention to universities and educational institutions in general. I hope that after the transition of power in Afghanistan the next government will improve academic facilities and employ more professional instructors.

April 7 - Fight for gender equality

On Election Day, it really hurt me that there weren’t any female candidates running for the presidency. Therefore I made a promise to myself that I would fight against gender discrimination and play a role in politics in the future. I want to be among those Afghan women who fight for their rights and make their voices heard.

This decision reminded me of female parliamentarian Shukria Barekzai, who said that women should do the work themselves and not wait for others to do it for them. Barkzai has been an inspiration for me ever since.

I sometimes feel that the price of getting involved in Afghan politics is too high, but even if I am killed because of my views, I believe I will have sacrificed my life for a good cause. There is a strong need for more women to stand up and fight for their rights. We should be able to express our views without any fear.

I have decided to be among those Afghans who bring about positive changes to the lives of Afghan women. I am determined to actively take part in the fight against gender discrimination in my country.

April 6 - Determination

Yesterday, I went to the polls for the very first time. I waited for several hours before I was able to cast my ballot, as there were a large number of people who had also come to vote. I was initially afraid because of the security situation and the Taliban threats. But I felt safe as Afghan security forces were everywhere to ensure everyone's safety.

I noticed that Afghan women were clearly committed to shaping a peaceful future, so they voted freely and without compulsion to elect their future president and provincial council members.

Before going to the polls my father told me to vote for his favorite candidate. But I refused to listen to him and told him I wanted to vote instead for the candidate whom I thought was the right person to lead my country. I am proud of my people for their accomplishment and determination to build a better future. Afghans made history on Election Day.

April 5 - Election Day

Today is a very special day for me and my country. It's Election Day in Afghanistan and my dreams are about to come true as I am set to vote for my favorite candidate for the first time in my life. I want to be relaxed when I am voting. I never thought I would be lucky enough to witness such a day in my life.

I prayed before leaving for the polling center. I took a deep breath and whispered to myself, "I hope that these elections will bring peace and prosperity to my lovely country and there will be no violence." I also prayed that I would choose the right candidate without thinking about his tribe, race or color.

After all the terrible things Afghan women have been through, I feel as if I am dreaming. I now have the chance to take part in shaping the future of my country. I cannot wait anymore. I am leaving now to cast my vote for my favorite candidate. I will tell you tomorrow how it went.

April 4 - Education

As I opened my schedule, I noticed I had to give a presentation at university today. I don't think I've ever felt so anxious ahead of a seminar. I know this professor gives marks based on what a student memorizes, and not based on student's creativity and intellectual development. He has an outdated method as he doesn't attend professional development seminars and conferences. I have to memorize the whole chapter and present in class. My classmates have to do the same thing.

I don't have any problems with other professors as they are very talented and professional. I am happy to have such professors who have received scholarships from abroad and are well acquainted with new teaching methods. I have learned a lot from them and their purpose is to encourage students to expand their understanding and knowledge of the world.

However, there is a need to train some professors by connecting classroom teaching with community service, thus making them wiser, creative and flexible. I remember talking to my classmates who have the same expectation from the next government.

I think education that enlightens the mind, engages the heart and invigorates the spirit must be the vision of university professors. I will continue my education full of hope wishing my dreams will come true after the upcoming presidential election. But now I have to prepare for my presentation. I will let you know how it went next week.

April 3 - The brawl

Last night, I watched a video clip on Ariana TV about a brawl that took place in the Afghan parliament. I noticed that the incident began as MPs started to insult each another. I have never seen a member of parliament trying to grab anyone by the neck and punching him several times in the face. The other guy reacted by throwing a bottle of water at him. The whole thing was so embarrassing.

I heard one of the men involved saying, "Your support is wrong, you have to follow the orders of the Hazara and you are taking the wrong road." But another MP from Kandahar argued that Pashtuns were the most powerful people and that no one else had the right to talk about his people.

Personally, I think this is a serious issue. The best way to solve this is to vote for the candidate who stands against the violation of and discrimination against the different peoples of Afghanistan. This reminds me of my conversation with the women at the voter registration office who are all expecting the same thing. I wish that the people of Afghanistan elect someone who can solve these problems.

April 2 - Registration

Yesterday, I went to pick up my registration card for the upcoming elections. I waited for a long time as there were many others who'd come for the same reason. I noticed that they had come full of hope despite concerns over the current security situation. I spoke to some of the women about the elections and they openly told who they would be voting for. I think Afghans are really optimistic in the days leading up to Saturday’s election. I view this as an indication that voters are becoming more aware of the steps we need to take towards democracy.

A woman asked me for information about the candidates as she didn't know who she should vote for. I told her about my experiences and knowledge of the candidates who have the best chances of winning the poll. After our discussion, I believe she found herself with more options.

Personally, I am optimistic about the vote and enthusiastic to cast my ballot for the first time. I feel the election will be successful as long as there is no massive fraud in the registration process. It is unrealistic to expect 100 percent free and fair elections and the people I have talked to are not expecting a miracle. But every single person in Afghanistan wants the future president to bring about peace and fix all the problems in the long run.

March 26 - The color of love

I have completely changed the way I dress at university. Today, I wore a white scarf and a red coat that matches with my red purse and shoes. There were some boys at university who said: "Wow! You wear red, the color of LOVE." Every day, I wear expensive dresses to look really beautiful. How would I describe my student life so far? It's been stylish, good-looking and organized.

As usual, I entered a powder room to refresh my makeup and put on lipstick. There were lots of girl who looked at me and said that my coat was extremely nice and fit me well. They all asked where I bought it and how much it cost. But I didn't tell them - I wouldn't like others to wear the same coat. Instead, I told them my uncle brought it from Turkey and that it was very expensive.

March 25 - Fear

Even though I am still mad at my friend for divulging all my secrets, I decided to go on with the day in a good mood. I went to university and met my classmates. We started a new semester and I decided to do that in a happy mood. My professor at university said the situation in Afghanistan will worsen as elections draw closer. I also read that the Taliban have warned they will attack polling stations. All of this makes me really scared. But I have decided to go on with my life and try to make it better as the days go by. Life is full of challenges here in Afghanistan, but we have to cope with them. I believe there is a key for every lock. Being patient and strong is the key for solving problems. I have decided I will never accept failure and will move forward.

March 24 - Breach of trust

Last night, I dreamed I was pushed into a river. Sometimes dreams come true. I experienced something similar in real life today when my best friend exposed secrets about my boyfriend knowing that it would make life difficult for me. I wish I hadn't trusted her and told all my secrets. I cannot believe she would hurt my feelings. I always trusted her and was honest with her. We never hid anything from each other. So it hurts me to find out about this. She has been my best friend since the first grade, but now everything is gone. I don't want to be friends with her anymore.

March 24 - Boring!

Today was a boring day! I spent the day at home. The new semester at university just started and I hope to go there as soon as I can. It's really wonderful to be among my classmates and my professors. But I have neither a nice dress, colorful scarf nor a stylish purse. Beyond the shadow of a doubt, girls always think about wearing beautiful dresses, and I am no different.

How will the new semester be? There will be new faces in the class. I am terribly excited ... I will have to find courage to congratulate and greet my fellow classmates ... As planned, I will purchase an expensive dress that will surprise everyone. They'll say: Wow, what a beautiful dress!! Over all I am really tired now, after a long day at home.

March 23 - Traffic Jam

It was 8:00 am and another traffic jam! I did not want to miss the TOEFL test. I got stuck in a huge traffic jam. The road was heavily congested with buses, cars, bicycles, trucks and other vehicles. It was so bad this morning! The exam had already started while I was still stuck in the same spot.

Life is unpredictable. I had prepared for the TOEFL test a month earlier. Unfortunately, I arrived an hour late, crying silently. "But wait! Do not lose hope, you will be successful," I told myself.

I entered the classroom at 9:00 o'clock. "Oh it is too late to take the test," my professor shouted. I lowered my head and said nothing, not a single word to defend myself. My classmates attacked me. They called me "stupid," "lazy" and all kinds of stuff. I was silently ashamed of being there. "Give me another chance, please Sir," I requested. "Well, just 5 minutes," he replied. I was so confused I can barely remember anything. I had wished for A+, unluckily I only got B+.

March 22 - Birthday only in calendar

Wake up, today is your birthday! Feel relaxed and happy! I should have a big smile on my face. But how do I share my feelings with others? I say it out loud: People!! Today is my BIRTHDAY!!!

Should I expect to hear congratulations and blessings from my parents? Well, they haven't said anything. Maybe they want to surprise me with a glorious party, gifts, a big cake and a nice dress like a princess. Wow, am I dreaming? I'll just wait and see. Oh my God! Such a busy schedule again: I am going to a TOEFL class and seminar, doing my homework, reading, and writing in my journal. I wish to put all of these things off, at least today.

It's almost 4:00 pm and I am still waiting to hear "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!" But nothing so far. I am really disappointed. The sun has set and mom is knocking on the door telling me to come for dinner. "Leave me alone, please! I am not hungry," I say. I can hear the clock ticking, it's 8:00 pm. I lay my head on the pillow and start crying. The darkness surrounds me. I fall asleep with a broken heart.

March 21 - Lunch with Grandma

Today, I was preparing a savory lunch for guests. Mom just cooked a special Afghan meal. Pawal (Afghan rice), Kofta (Afghan meatballs) are on the table. Wow, everything looks really delicious. I hope it will always be Nawruz (Persian New Year) so we can have guests and food like this.

It is time to eat, but Grandmother is nowhere to be found. Mom and I look for her everywhere, even in the kitchen, but we cannot find her. Maybe she wanted to escape from all the noises or just fell asleep somewhere. They say when you get old, you can sleep almost anywhere.

The food is getting cold. We are still looking for Grandmother. Now it is both funny and mysterious. Where is she? I then hear someone yelling for help. Someone had locked grandmother in the toilet. She is upset, but we laugh at the situation.